Me, Myself and I

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A new day is over. Feeling like an angel without it's wings, so that it can't fly... I fight and fight to forget, but every breath I take seems to break me more and more... Sometimes I just wanna leave, run away... Sometimes I'm too weak to give up, I can't stand this pain of broken memories, but when I stop struggling they come true again... Sometimes it seems like the sunrise, but in the next second I recognize it's the sunrset, 'til the rain comes back... Sometimes I wish that I could disappear without anybody noticing it... But I feel that I am not strong, 'cause sometimes means: Always...

~Here in the shadows I'm safe, I'm free, I've nowhere else to go to, but I can't stay where I don't belong~ *Evanescence - Exodus*

27.8.06 21:53

Hold on

I try to find something I can hold on, something that makes me live, something I can look forward to... Something I could die for, just to give me a new day. New days are strange, I often wake up, and I wonder: why is everything like yesterday, why doesn't this new day give me a reason to fight for another one?

Today was the birthday-Party of my grandma, one other thing that makes me feel bad. We played again: Happy Family, everything is OK, but the truth is that everything is wrong... Well, I know they do not know exactly what is going on in my mind, in my soul, but I can't stand this anymore. I don't wanted go there, but I had to...

~My heart can't possibly break, if it wasn't even whole to start with~ *Kelly Clarkson - Because of You*

28.8.06 11:47

The Seasons

Today I just sat inside, because the rainy weather doesn't allow me to go outside. I feel fall is coming, I love it, but I'm afraid of it's sweet melancholy. I'm bored, and I want school to start again (I'm crazy, I know), so that the day is filled with assignments, and not as boring as today. Of course, then I won't have time for anything, but as far as I know that is better than just hanging around with nothing to do, so that I just make up bad ideas. I wanna stop thinking of summerdays, because they do not understand, that I hate them, they come and go, like every year, but when they're gone, I start missing them, because they seem the only time of the year when it's too hot for tears of sorrow. But summer is dying, fall is breathing and soon to bring the winter back to my heart...

~Another mother's breakin', heart is taking over, when the violence causes silence, we must be mistaken... With their tanks and their bombs and their bombs and their guns, in your head they are dying~ *The Cranberries - Zombie*

I don't understand the world anymore why there's just terrorism, why there are people killed, when they're innocent, why there are children living in fear of death, all alone, because their parents were victims of war... WHY? 

29.8.06 19:08


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