Me, Myself and I

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It's been such a long time...

I was really busy being alive, just to breathe and to sleep were too hard. The pressure in school was unbearable and in the moment it isn't much better. Well at least I feel a little better now. The Christmas-holidays were at least good for recovering, even if Christmas is the time I hate most in the year. The complete breakdown was at New Years Eve, I drunk too much, so this is the way it goes everyday: High in the sky, down on the ground - That's my life. But I am now contented with my achievements in school - they are perfect, but that is making the whole thing worse, because I can't bear failure. At least it's weekend, and I have more time, well not really, I have to sleep, to learn and to clean my room. On sunday I'm going to watch the Movie "Mein Führer", it's a film about Hitler, but a funny one. ´

~Sparkling grey, through my own veins, any more than a whisper, any sudden movement of my heart. And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away, just get through this day~                           *Evanescence - The last song I'm wasting on you*

12.1.07 14:01's been a hard day

Today was a fight between life and death. I felt like walking on borderlands between black and wihite, life and death, happiness and sorrow, smile and tears... My whole life is torn into both and I don't know where I do belong. Not only school was killing me. It is my family, my parents... They are telling things I'm not used to. I am so desperately lost in between and I don't know the right way to walk on. Where? When? How? Questions - so hard to answer. Can someone come and fix my heart? Please! Can someone come and make my broken world one? I think, I'm the only one who is able to come out of here, but I'm too weak...

~Something has been taken from deep inside of me, a secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see, wounds so deep they'll never show, they'll never go away, like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played~            *Easier to run - Linkin Park*

16.1.07 19:47


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